


What Are We Starting?

by Jetrocketboy



Series: Life Is Gonna Change [1]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Family Feels, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-08 03:13:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19098601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jetrocketboy/pseuds/Jetrocketboy
Summary: Even before they got together, people pointed out how they looked like a family. Buck honestly tried not to mind, but he keeps worrying over what Eddie thinks of such an idea...





	What Are We Starting?

The thought first entered Evan Buckley’s mind on Christmas of last year.

 

He wanted to do something nice for Eddie and his kid, Christopher, because… well they deserved it. At least, that was the reason that Buck told himself. There was a persistent feeling that he was doing this for something else—something much bigger—but he really couldn’t put a finger on it.

 

Buck tried not to pay too much mind to it. This night was all about Eddie and Chris, after all. He wanted to do his damn hardest to make tonight feel special for the two. So that’s what he did for the rest of the night.

 

As he watched the two stride away in each other’s arms, he was about to follow until a stout woman stopped him with just a few words.

 

“You two have an adorable son.”

 

She had good intentions, Buck would admit that much. But the actual implication of such a phrase hit him like a freight train. To some people, he and Eddie appeared to be like any other couple raising a child together. Well, good to know the community was accepting of such a concept.

 

People believed that his best friend was so much more than that. But, that’s all they could be though, wasn’t it? Eddie was an extremely private person, and in the months that they’ve spent talking and hanging out, Buck realized he barely knew anything about the man. Sure, he could point out random habits and the likes, but what about his history? His beliefs and ideals? His desires and wants in a partner? Not to mention they worked at the same place. Getting together might hinder their competency at the station, and with their kind of job, that was a big risk in of itself.

 

Now, don’t get Buck wrong. The thought of them together, as an actual couple, was not one that he entirely disapproved of. Call him what you will, but anyone with eyes could tell that Eddie was a very, _very_ tall drink of water. The man was rugged, hot, handsome, dreamy, masculine, gorgeous, whatever. The list of adjectives Buck wouldn’t admit he came up with, however, had culminated into one, small word.

 

 _Lovely_.

 

Because, really, that was the crux of the situation. Eddie was lovely in everything that he did. He could do the stupidest dance at a party, blurt out the lamest jokes, or paint over a blank white wall, and Buck would still think he was the most amazing thing to look at. No matter what Eddie could do, it wouldn’t make Buck love him any less.

 

And _that_ was something that scared him and excited him all at once.

 

He kept his response to the elf brief, because he honestly had no intention of correcting her. They might not be a family yet, but Buck was nonetheless hopeful.

 

* * *

 

When Eddie had begrudgingly asked Buck to pick Chris up from school, he decided to ignore how quick he was to say yes. It was simply because the other man was overworked of late, and he was helping relieve a bit of his stress. Buck was looking out for his best friend, that was all. Nothing more, and nothing less.

 

The drive there wasn’t anything special, but as he approached the front office of the school, some of the other parents there gave him unknowing glances. There was a nice enough looking lady at the desk, but she wasn’t the same one he would usually see when he’d come for Chris.

 

“Hi there. Picking up your child?” The lady politely asked.

 

“Yeah, um, Christopher Diaz?” He answered, his heart skipping a beat when she had implied that Chris was his child.

 

The receptionist looked away from the computer screen in front of her and he was met with a questioning expression. “Please excuse me, but what is your name?”

 

He was waiting for this to happen. The other desk clerk that was usually here when he came already knew of his relation to both Chris and Eddie, so he didn’t have to say any more than necessary. Though he was expecting the question, Buck struggled a bit in figuring what to say next.

 

“Oh, I’m Evan Buckley, but I should be listed as an emergency contact to Chris.” He sputtered out. It wasn’t a lie, at least. He knew because Eddie had suggested he be recorded as such in the event that he wasn’t available. Eddie didn’t mention the fact that his ex-wife was also not nearly close enough to her own son, but Buck didn’t need him to say that to be grateful to be there for Chris. If he also felt a light feeling at how trusting Eddie was to him, Buck paid no mind to it.

 

“Ah, I see. My apologies. We’ll get him right away.” The woman slid her office chair over to a nearby telephone, and he could hear her speak Chris’s name to whoever she was talking to.

 

Things went better after that, and he and Chris were walking down to the parking lot. He had one hand wrapped around the kid’s, and the other holding onto the small backpack he had slung over his shoulder. They just got to his truck when he heard Chris call out to one of his friends.

 

“Hi Kali!”

 

“Hi Chris!”

 

The two children started chattering about their day at school, while Buck was left with the little girl’s father.

 

The older man had put his hand out for Buck to take. “Dylan. I take it you’re Buck?”

 

“Yup, that’s me. How’d you know that?” Buck had mused as he firmly shook Dylan’s hand.

 

“Eddie mentioned ya a couple times. Though, I didn’t expect such a handsome man to be his boyfriend. He’s quite lucky.”

 

Buck’s mouth dropped slightly and his eyes went wider than he would have liked. “I-I’m sorry, what?”

 

Dylan was quick to notice his shocked expression. “I guess that was the wrong thing to say? Sorry ‘bout that, my bad. Just thought by the way Eddie talks about ya, you had to be something more than his friend.”

 

Buck could only give the guy a pointed look to hide his disbelief at his claim. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“Look, I’ve known Eddie for a long while. Heck, we sometimes go out to eat with our kids so that they could play together. But in our recent convos your name somehow manages to come up all the time.”

 

“W-What does he say about me?” Because isn’t that something Buck would kill to know.

 

“Ha! Maybe you should ask him yourself.” Dylan laughed a bit at that before he continued, a more serious tone undertaking his voice. “But listen, I can tell when a guy like him has feelings for another guy. Of course he ain’t gonna say it out loud, but it’s something to consider.”

 

Buck was left there in astonishment. Eddie… has feelings for him? That can’t be possible. But, Buck doesn’t want it to be impossible. Deep down, he knows that he wants to be with Eddie. Yet, could he trust the assumption of this other friend of his? Until Buck was certain himself that his crush isn’t as unrequited as he believes, he’ll do his best to keep his emotions in check. A task that was easier said than done, he reminded himself.

 

He was so distracted in his thoughts that Buck almost missed Dylan speaking again. “Well, we should be headin’ home. Maybe I’ll see ya around.” The older father was helping his daughter get into his car, when he turned back to face Buck. “Don’t tell Eddie I said anything, but think about it, yeah? I think you two would make quite the couple, and with Chris, too, y’all would be a nice family.”

 

Dylan gave a well-intentioned wink, and Buck was left only with his swarming thoughts. He and Eddie as a couple? As a family? Why is he considering this with one of his closest friends? And why isn’t Buck denying his want—his need—for it?

 

“Are we going home, Bucky?”

 

“Yeah, let’s get you home buddy.”

 

* * *

 

Buck was pretty damn impressed with himself when he managed to ask Eddie if he wanted to watch a football game. With him. And Maddie, too. Not because she was interested in football, but so she could be a mediator for the two. When she accused Buck for only wanting her there as a buffer, he defended himself saying that it was “a good opportunity for sibling and best friend bonding”. He was sure that she bought that excuse that wasn’t totally pathetic.

 

His cheerfulness only lasted up until their shift at the station was coming to a close.

 

He and Eddie were by their lockers, changing and packing up for the day. And if Buck snuck in a few glances at the cascading ripples of muscle along Eddie’s back… well, no one had to know.

 

It was when Eddie spoke up that Buck had tore his eyes away and quickly settled them on an uninteresting piece of string on his backpack.

 

“Hey, Buck, there’s something you should know,” Eddie spoke softly, a hint of guilt lying beneath his words. Buck didn’t like that tone. It made him think something was wrong, and that Eddie blamed himself for it. He wanted to make that feeling go away, but his ideas on _how_ —kissing or tightly hugging him—weren’t exactly things he could really do.

 

So he instead opted on intently listening to the other man. “What’s up?”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Eddie had momentarily turned to look at him, but swung back to facing the locker.

 

It was his turn to meet the now-clothed back of his best friend. “C’mon, y’know you can tell me anything.”

 

At that, Eddie moved his gaze down to the cold floor. “I hate to disappoint you, but I can’t make it to yours tonight.”

 

Buck was silent, and Eddie could practically hear the gears grinding to a halt in his head.

 

“I-I’m really sorry, but Chris has this school art project thing and I promised I’d get the supplies but I just now remembered about it and I wouldn’t have made a promise with you I couldn’t keep and—”

 

Eddie’s sputtering was enough to draw a soft chuckle out of Buck. “Hey, hey, it’s okay.”

 

“It is?” Eddie looked up and saw that Buck was staring at him.

 

“Of course it is. It’s only a football game. There are plenty of other times our team will get to play.”

 

“I’m still sorry.” Eddie released a deep sigh as he repeated himself.

 

“No, don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I totally understand. Your kid comes first.”

 

Eddie let out a small laugh of his own, and Buck thought it was the silver lining to come out of this whole situation. “Thanks for understanding. I’ll see you tomorrow, though, okay?”

 

Before Buck’s brain caught up with him, Eddie had wrapped his arms over his shoulders and around his neck. The hug was not nearly long enough, and all too soon was the warmth of Eddie escaping. He watched with wide eyes as the man wandered out of the room, waving his hand in farewell.

 

All Buck could do was wave back. “See you tomorrow…”

 

Later that evening, when Buck arrived at Maddie’s house, he immediately sat himself down on the couch and tightly gripped a pillow between his arms.

 

Maddie didn’t make more than two steps into the living room when he told her: “Eddie’s not coming.”

 

His sister paused for a moment before she had sat down herself. “Is that why you look like a kicked puppy?”

 

“Do you think it was because he didn’t want to see me tonight?”

 

Maddie scoffed. “I doubt that was the reason why.”

 

“He had to do something for Chris, but I can’t help but think—”

 

“Buck, you realize that not everything Eddie does is about you?” Maddie had crossed her arms and folder her legs together as she became comfortable on the cushions.

 

“Of course I know that!” Buck let out a frustrated huff, and threw the pillow to his side.  
“Ugh, I hate how I just blamed him for using his kid as an excuse not to see a sorry person like me!”

 

Silence blanketed the room. Buck closed his eyes for what felt like hours until he felt soft hands touch his own.

 

“Buck, can’t you see what’s going on here? You worrying over why Eddie canceled on our plans, and blaming yourself. Please don’t tell me I have to say it for you.”

 

It took a moment before Buck recognized what she was referring to. It was something that he had yet to tell anyone, and he wasn’t quite sure if he was ready now. But seeing the genuinely concerned expression across his sister’s face gave him the courage to do what he thought was impossible.

 

“I’m… I… I really, really like Eddie. And I don’t know what to do…”

 

“Oh, Evan…” Maddie moved her hands and gracefully pulled Buck in towards her. As he rested his head atop her chest, he could feel the sting of tears. “Have you told him?”

 

Buck could only shake his head.

 

“Look, I’m no expert on relationships or anything, but I think it would be best to just say something to him. Get it out there to see where you stand. I really don’t think it would turn out the way you’re thinking it will. And honestly, Evan? The three of you would make a wonderful family.”

 

Minutes go by as the two siblings sat there in content silence. It was Buck who started first. “I-I think I will, Mads… But maybe not tonight. Soon, though, I promise.”

 

“Good,” she whispered as she stroked his back.

 

“Thanks for the talk, by the way.”

 

“What are big sisters for right?”

 

* * *

 

Buck and Eddie were strolling through a local park after dropping off Christopher at school. Eddie was the one who suggested they go, since it was so close to the station in case of an emergency. He said it would also help clear both their minds.

 

And the guy was right. The calming atmosphere of the quaint park had an effect on Buck, making him feel the most relaxed he’s ever been, especially since he’s never felt like that when alone with Eddie.

 

As they followed the path near the far end of the park, Buck spotted a modestly-sized gazebo hidden in the trees. He suggested they take a break and sit down underneath the shade. Eddie had no objections, so they took their seats on one of the benches that lined the inside of the structure. There was still a distance between them, one that was far too big for Buck.

 

“Hey, about last week—”

 

“There’s something I’ve—”

 

The two men had blurted out at the same time as they met gazes, causing both to nervously laugh.

 

“Um, you first,” Buck conceded.

 

“I’m still pretty sorry about ditching you that one night. I know you keep saying that I shouldn’t be, but I can’t help it. I made a promise to you, and I broke that promise. And I make it a point to never, ever do such a thing. It just bothers me so much that, of all people, it was you I had to disappoint like that. So, are we good?”

 

Buck nodded lightly, almost indiscernible, but not to Eddie. “There’s something that I haven’t told you, and I can’t keep it to myself anymore. At first, I thought it was just a phase, or something that I’d get over pretty quickly. But this… this isn’t something I want to get over.”

 

Eddie’s expression changed into one of confusion, and Buck slowly started to close the empty space between them.

 

“Eddie, you shouldn’t feel sorry for what happened last week, not just because I understand why you did it, but also because it helped me finally realize something. I don’t want to hide and lie anymore. Especially not to you.”

 

Eddie remained silent as Buck boldly took the other man’s rough, yet strong hands into his. His eyes were firm on that sight.

 

“Eddie, I… I love you. I love you so much, and I want to be a part of your family.”

 

Time seemed to stop in that moment. Buck anxiously awaited a response, almost regretting spilling his emotions on the table like that. But no, this had to be done. He had to know for himself if this—them—was a possibility.

 

When Eddie had finally looked up, all Buck could see was what he believed to be… pure happiness.

 

“You’re already a part of our family. You already knew that… But I don’t think you knew that I… love you, too.”

 

Buck could only smile the brightest smile he could, and decided to take it even further. The distance that had separated the two on the gazebo’s bench became nonexistent when Buck pushed himself forward, his lips meeting with Eddie in a messy, yet perfect kiss.

 

As they regrettably pulled apart, Buck embraced Eddie tightly in the one place he believed to be the safest. They stared out into the sunlit field of the park, underneath the protection of the wooden roof.

 

“So, how are we gonna tell everyone else about this?” Eddie mused as he rested his head on Buck’s firm chest.

 

“We’ll figure something out.” Buck looked down at Eddie, and met his beautiful brown eyes once again. “As a family, right?”

 

Eddie went in for another shorter, yet just as lovely kiss. “As a family.”


End file.
